These days...
There is no silence to corner my thoughts, or to divide one lifetime from another....
There is, instead, one sun, a moon, one soul and i do proclaim, i've lived and died a thousand times.
and my intentions to outlive do not go to waste, no matter the weather inside my heart, when it is dead to the world, when it is dead to me...
i see, i aim, call on the phantom madness of his own despair... and pull the fuckin trigger every time.
These days....
I take pictures of the sun
Play the soundscape of its echoes as it descends from my eyes
And the moon rises all mansions of the dead, where the night is my enemy and the Earth is my bed.
A life so changed by all turns of time, i'm reminded that a home is only a frame of mind
These days.....
Paradise is so far from this world, as u take from me,
What belongs to all of us, that this is what i bet; Heaven is somewhere, it is not here.
and the broken hearts, this broken soul.... i pick up these pieces but don't know where they go.
When the sun rises, takes with it, my will to un-think the night... not so much ur tv entertainment that wakes me up from a seldom dead sleep, its the reality that u will never grasp.
These days.....
I move on like a rainy day, forget to say what i meant to say
i walk alone, i walk away, look back to my death just waiting there,
and fuck.. i said i would, but i don't care...... what's one more line in the sand?
These days....
I run to get even, to the rythmn of a higher law,
That's one thing my target understands....
neither life nor death matters, only salvation. and I don't deny it, the hymn of my life is but
just one more wild ride, driven by a wild blood, hardened by a wild side, embraced by a wild Love.....
These days....
I spin my nights to shadow ur days, this empire is one of a million ways
to see me from all angles of ur burning sun... what i give, u take... what u bend, i break.
My hands say more than they once did before.... hold a smoke, as i dream away, one Letter at a time, one hit... one more time.... fuckyes. these days im doin.
About me.
ABOUT LIFE:
- i never had a bucket list. but i do got a things to do list from 2007 that i haven't touched since i wrote it.
- im generally a cheery fucker.
- i was recently enlightened to the idea that i get what i vibrate. i can only understand it when i look at it like karma's crazy cousin. the bi-polar one.
- sham-wow was my idea. i just can't prove it.
- i believe in angels. i know there's a god. and i am respectful of everybody who disagrees until they try and change my mind.
- i don't mean to brag, but i've survived about five raptures.
ABOUT THE PAST:
- im not too proud to say that there are things i would go back and do over.
- ok. yea. i was that kid who got his head stuck between two wrought iron bars at the mall.
- i once owned Castle Grayskull.
- when i was single i was notorious for the drunk dial.
SELF-DISCOVERIES:
- i tend to want to share anything i have. i believe this might come from having to split everything in twos when i was growing up.
- i go very quiet for some reason when a pretty woman touches my hands.
- if it lights up then there's no hope for me. i will take it apart.
- i'm aware that i swear too much. but the world would go silent if i ever tried to stop.
- im getting used to people noticing my trachea scar and asking about it. but hey, i hear scars are the new tattoos...
- sometimes i think too much, so it go without saying that the sky is the limit when it comes to sexual fantasies.
- despite the invisible walls around me that seem to intimidate people my age, some shit don't change. im a fuckin kid magnet.
- im a habitual flirt. sorry if i ever took a stab at u.
ABOUT FRIENDS:
- if you have ever told me off and u are reading this, i think ur special or u just know way too much to just cut loose like a fuckin wild horse.
- i'm the kind of head that will brighten ur day even if i can't brighten my own.
- it doesn't matter who u are. don't matter if its innocent. if u say words like head, hairy, squirt, hole and glory, i will laugh until it hurts.
- if u tell me u love me when im angry i will usually fight back.
- 99% of the time i do care. even when i pretend not to.
- i'm just not one of those that settles for a weak character. therefore i got my share of haters and i got those i don't get along with, on and offline.
ABOUT FOOD:
- if i got cookies around i will skip a full course meal and go for the cookie instead.
- i randomly become lactose intolerant. still havent figured out exactly why it strikes and no i dont want to know.
- if it starts with a 't' and ends in a 'les' or 'ines' fuck that. i wont eat it. i'll take a cookie.
- i dont think i will ever eat that egg and tomato sandwich that rita made me on tuesday. why is it still sitting in my fridge? i got hard time letting go of shit these days. or i'll get around to it eventually.
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch once held a special place in my heart until i puked it for two straight days. i think the milk was bad.
CONFESSIONS:
- i am my own worst enemy sometimes.
- i've been accused of being oversexed. i'm guilty.
- i'm territorial. not jealous. territorial.
- its not as hard for me to see life for what it is these days...
- 99% of the time when i hear the word 'no', i take it as a sign for 'try again tomorrow'.
- i'm very open about myself even when my intentions are to not be.
- i never had a bucket list. but i do got a things to do list from 2007 that i haven't touched since i wrote it.
- im generally a cheery fucker.
- i was recently enlightened to the idea that i get what i vibrate. i can only understand it when i look at it like karma's crazy cousin. the bi-polar one.
- sham-wow was my idea. i just can't prove it.
- i believe in angels. i know there's a god. and i am respectful of everybody who disagrees until they try and change my mind.
- i don't mean to brag, but i've survived about five raptures.
ABOUT THE PAST:
- im not too proud to say that there are things i would go back and do over.
- ok. yea. i was that kid who got his head stuck between two wrought iron bars at the mall.
- i once owned Castle Grayskull.
- when i was single i was notorious for the drunk dial.
SELF-DISCOVERIES:
- i tend to want to share anything i have. i believe this might come from having to split everything in twos when i was growing up.
- i go very quiet for some reason when a pretty woman touches my hands.
- if it lights up then there's no hope for me. i will take it apart.
- i'm aware that i swear too much. but the world would go silent if i ever tried to stop.
- im getting used to people noticing my trachea scar and asking about it. but hey, i hear scars are the new tattoos...
- sometimes i think too much, so it go without saying that the sky is the limit when it comes to sexual fantasies.
- despite the invisible walls around me that seem to intimidate people my age, some shit don't change. im a fuckin kid magnet.
- im a habitual flirt. sorry if i ever took a stab at u.
ABOUT FRIENDS:
- if you have ever told me off and u are reading this, i think ur special or u just know way too much to just cut loose like a fuckin wild horse.
- i'm the kind of head that will brighten ur day even if i can't brighten my own.
- it doesn't matter who u are. don't matter if its innocent. if u say words like head, hairy, squirt, hole and glory, i will laugh until it hurts.
- if u tell me u love me when im angry i will usually fight back.
- 99% of the time i do care. even when i pretend not to.
- i'm just not one of those that settles for a weak character. therefore i got my share of haters and i got those i don't get along with, on and offline.
ABOUT FOOD:
- if i got cookies around i will skip a full course meal and go for the cookie instead.
- i randomly become lactose intolerant. still havent figured out exactly why it strikes and no i dont want to know.
- if it starts with a 't' and ends in a 'les' or 'ines' fuck that. i wont eat it. i'll take a cookie.
- i dont think i will ever eat that egg and tomato sandwich that rita made me on tuesday. why is it still sitting in my fridge? i got hard time letting go of shit these days. or i'll get around to it eventually.
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch once held a special place in my heart until i puked it for two straight days. i think the milk was bad.
CONFESSIONS:
- i am my own worst enemy sometimes.
- i've been accused of being oversexed. i'm guilty.
- i'm territorial. not jealous. territorial.
- its not as hard for me to see life for what it is these days...
- 99% of the time when i hear the word 'no', i take it as a sign for 'try again tomorrow'.
- i'm very open about myself even when my intentions are to not be.
Sincerely, Me
hi,
it seems like forever and a day since you gave me a real chance to talk to you. Although time keeps passing, there really isn't a minute that goes by that i don't think about you, at least wonder how you are feeling, and
where life is taking you.
Don't think that since we never cross paths anymore that I don't ask myself how much or just how little I must have meant to you. But knowing me, better than I will ever know you, the pain i feel now will someday subside, and I will hope yours does too.
The point of true friendship is rarely achieved in this world anymore. I am a marine, I see the differene all the time. Perhaps it is because, in this day of the disposable age, we so often forget that the ones we honor by calling friend should always, wherever and whenever possible,
remain indispensible...
I tried to warn you I was far from the visions you believed, of the "perfect" me. But you treated me as though it never mattered, and I grew to trust and love you as though it did. Maybe the novelty wore off, and with it,
your patience. Maybe...
Personally, I think your life just got a hell of a lot better almost instantly, and therefore my timing for human error, fatal.
But no spot-on shot in the dark can really answer the one question I will always have; if you truly loved me, when was there ever a good time to throw me away?
Nonetheless. I have faith that you had your reasons for leaving me behind. And i just would like to say that it doesn't mean
I ever left you.
And as you move forward, I do hope that you will care enough to know
I think of you. And in all of your success, I do hope it will be plain to see that I prayed for you.
DSM
it seems like forever and a day since you gave me a real chance to talk to you. Although time keeps passing, there really isn't a minute that goes by that i don't think about you, at least wonder how you are feeling, and
where life is taking you.
Don't think that since we never cross paths anymore that I don't ask myself how much or just how little I must have meant to you. But knowing me, better than I will ever know you, the pain i feel now will someday subside, and I will hope yours does too.
The point of true friendship is rarely achieved in this world anymore. I am a marine, I see the differene all the time. Perhaps it is because, in this day of the disposable age, we so often forget that the ones we honor by calling friend should always, wherever and whenever possible,
remain indispensible...
I tried to warn you I was far from the visions you believed, of the "perfect" me. But you treated me as though it never mattered, and I grew to trust and love you as though it did. Maybe the novelty wore off, and with it,
your patience. Maybe...
Personally, I think your life just got a hell of a lot better almost instantly, and therefore my timing for human error, fatal.
But no spot-on shot in the dark can really answer the one question I will always have; if you truly loved me, when was there ever a good time to throw me away?
Nonetheless. I have faith that you had your reasons for leaving me behind. And i just would like to say that it doesn't mean
I ever left you.
And as you move forward, I do hope that you will care enough to know
I think of you. And in all of your success, I do hope it will be plain to see that I prayed for you.
DSM
pieces of my life; love or faith.
i hold onto the simple things in life. i rarely fear the empty spaces inside my heart so long as i don't take for granted the peace and quiet of the shallow contentment. and while all move about; above me, underneath.. i observe more than my eyes can see alone. and watch as those who already know go on, as those who still question, find answers. and amongst my own angels and demons i roam to find my own. and feel ur eyes watching me.
my instincts take all leads. and i hold my silence against the thoughtless whispers of the outspoken kind. understanding is but a casual encounter for u, but for the cheap thrill of every indifferent bargain, i stand up to speak alone. since the day i was born. i lead. u follow.
i make my message plain. in no particular order im everything u see, and according to the trust i hold in u, u may stand part witness to a broken man half saved and half doomed. yes, in the grand city of restoring wayward ways my heart is still a sidewalk. that constant work in progress completely visible to all who pass me by. but never left to be conquered by any lesser than the common denominator between u and i; yes half saved and half doomed. so the believer in me may only reflect as much light as the believer in u. characterized by my shit-eatin grin, holding on easy, but slowly letting go...
my instincts take all leads. and i hold my silence against the thoughtless whispers of the outspoken kind. understanding is but a casual encounter for u, but for the cheap thrill of every indifferent bargain, i stand up to speak alone. since the day i was born. i lead. u follow.
i make my message plain. in no particular order im everything u see, and according to the trust i hold in u, u may stand part witness to a broken man half saved and half doomed. yes, in the grand city of restoring wayward ways my heart is still a sidewalk. that constant work in progress completely visible to all who pass me by. but never left to be conquered by any lesser than the common denominator between u and i; yes half saved and half doomed. so the believer in me may only reflect as much light as the believer in u. characterized by my shit-eatin grin, holding on easy, but slowly letting go...
practice makes perfect - i stood on a mountain that crumbled from beneath my feet. gravitating expectations and grounding more than my hope, more than my faith, more than my mind and more than the meaning i thought was behind my name... these days i practice more ways of listening with my soul and u speak in ways that do not employ the organized assembly to understand what broke ur heart, just the patience to enjoy the fall.
honesty is the best policy - and if i ever gave u the wrong impression of me, my shallow apologies to u. we all want peace. but we find the eery harmony calling in the broken records hanging inside this house offering wishing wells and rolling dice, so what the fuck are u asking for... and the revolving door of loyalty is running 24 hrs a day. so forgive me for not dividing my heart, i had only one, before she stole it.
u can't please everybody - without regards for diplomacy i give u the truth. i hold myself responsible for making sure i do just fuckin fine. and my own convictions are safely kept where heaven houses an angel with broken wings. but heaven doesn't hold a candle to where i left ur misery behind. u see. if u ever crossed me it was not becuz i lacked the judgement to foretell... if i gave u a chance its cuz i liked u, even if i knew u would take it, fuck urself, like blowin life here on earth straight to hell. u see i always had mine, i was here to help u find urs.
the best things in life are free - not true. salvation is the only thing that is absolutely free. so dont patronize me with words that i can't distinguish between love and deceit. and the heart on my sleeve won't try and turn ur nickle into a dime. yes, lover yes friend. an eye for an eye. hand for a hand. u give me the sun, i'll give u the sky. DSM
honesty is the best policy - and if i ever gave u the wrong impression of me, my shallow apologies to u. we all want peace. but we find the eery harmony calling in the broken records hanging inside this house offering wishing wells and rolling dice, so what the fuck are u asking for... and the revolving door of loyalty is running 24 hrs a day. so forgive me for not dividing my heart, i had only one, before she stole it.
u can't please everybody - without regards for diplomacy i give u the truth. i hold myself responsible for making sure i do just fuckin fine. and my own convictions are safely kept where heaven houses an angel with broken wings. but heaven doesn't hold a candle to where i left ur misery behind. u see. if u ever crossed me it was not becuz i lacked the judgement to foretell... if i gave u a chance its cuz i liked u, even if i knew u would take it, fuck urself, like blowin life here on earth straight to hell. u see i always had mine, i was here to help u find urs.
the best things in life are free - not true. salvation is the only thing that is absolutely free. so dont patronize me with words that i can't distinguish between love and deceit. and the heart on my sleeve won't try and turn ur nickle into a dime. yes, lover yes friend. an eye for an eye. hand for a hand. u give me the sun, i'll give u the sky. DSM
work in progress
i guess its easier to say
it's too late, you don't want me
guess you got your greener pastures
where i got three lines and a setting sun.
tell me where you learned to do that
was there ever a day you needed me?
or if your smile could have spoken true words -
would i have heard my own heart breaking, you see?
hey there don't you turn away
don't you want to see my life walk away?
walk away from me...
hey now baby talk to me
don't you want to tell me what you want to say?
"...Walk away from me"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
