u might think.... im just taking once again, my hand to the pen.... yea kind of, i write for me, that is what i was meant to do... war is not all blood and gore sometimes u got an infinite moment to cradle the weight on ur shoulders round here...... wonder where the fuck u been, where the fuck u goin... why it all started, how the fuck its all goin to end.... yes with one pen, one heart and one mind that is all im here to do..... To find you, trust you... speak to you.

(u can call me pup)

im taking these walls down if only for a minute u can conquer the pain.... ur life is busy ur life is full and sometimes im sure u feel sorry for me but make no mistake about the watch i keep, my pain is only ur pain, reflected by the two-way mirror u brought with u...... u see i walk beside the lonely roads, not on em.... i fight for more than u i'm fighting for me too, fighting for more than ur life im fighting for mine too (hmm) wherever it went...... yea i know, here let me turn u right side up before u choke on that and yes those are dog tags in front of me......... they here with me, reminding me of the stories ima tell someday..... but for now they just doin their job day by day, hour by hour..... finalizing pieces of me as i do what i do..... calling you, doubting you.... missing you.

i walked alone earlier and gave way to my rambling head... i let myself feel things i normally wouldn't and why u might ask.... cuz im human just like u. and u and u..... yes i do have a heart now look away while i hide my eyes they say too much... in all dimentions ur like the same addictions that swallow me whole.. get ur kicks as i tell the truth again i am the way i am today because that is how love has treated me.... being here shuffling my feet and reloading its not hard to let her fade from the back of my mind... turning at the faint cries of a blind man begging me to kill him, inching away as he follows my footsteps because he cannot see.. reminds me of the day i cried tears in open land i can only hope she got the peace i found for her ... then as i noticed the sun rising i distinctly recalled my purpose here.... to forget you, to remember you... to confuse you.

(note to self: pay ur billz on time fucka)

brace urself im about to get reckless and tell u something about what u been wonderin.....

i was never meant to mean anything to u, like the way im letting these sheets of paper go, ur used to meaning nothing to some people u probably see every day, just bein honest don't let my words give u away...... i tend to wanna take care of everyone too, just the pops in me...... trying to do for me what i was meant to do...... so sit there and swallow as these words ive penned fight their way into ur blood until u can feel the numbness.... impairing you. comforting you.... maybe even angering you.

indeed, there are times when im able to smile... shit-faced grin i like keepin around for the good times, and if ur like me then u know what its like to smile anyway.and don't ever feel like u can't disagree with me, i defend that right and i gave my life to god not to u, just, u foot the bill if god decides to take my sorry azz is all......... and to the next who inherits that sacrifice may he give all the glory to the lord for what he brings home to his country.....

now picture me, standing behind u, my hands inside ur hands... feeling everything u feeling but wondering where the rest of me went... are u even following me? yes im sayin i still heart america Here here! now let the house come tumbling down..... to consume you, to un-do you... to believe in you.

(stolen thought # 5656 steal a pen and throw the cap in front of the next guy)

then there goes my mind... and somewhere she is wandering here.... name un-spoken, for there is no forgiving a careless tongue... shhhh she can hear me..... she wears my burden around her neck and walks with me backwards as we go back in our own time, she plays like she betting a full house on a dime, yes u guessed it, she wanders breathless, in stealth, partner in crime.... u see u mustve missed it the first time.... watch me take this broken heart and ima show u broken man... but hear me bet its beating parts and ur seeing the gambler... taking ur two and making a four, yes betting against those odds and more... just calling on the same cards in life i've always played with.... now close ur eyes and think of a price....... cuz in each our lives there is a price that comes for where we stand, but im takin it im betting on it

sayin fuck you

i love you

bleeding freedom in colors for this no man's land!!!

and im doing it all with a pen in my hand...


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