most of the hard work here has been completed. The last of the few major taliban pockets have been driven out and so far its been pretty uneventful... but our job is not to leave this place in the condition its in theres still a lot of progress to make with the afghan army and to help them organize their objectives as a force, and I will move on as quickly as I rode in. I've been asked if i get to go home right after this is and my answer is no. After I'm relieved of this assignment my next stop will be about 400 meters away from here..... the most I will say about what it is that I do exactly is that it is in the Black.

I got to talk to mali when i got back earlier. My truck is in her hands now.... lord help us lol.... my mom going to a baby shower and my brother is on his way over here on a different mission, so i do pray that they all get to where they going and also pray that this progress made here continues as its intended to.
The towns people here have a very simple yet quality way of living, believing and working. In spirit, I can see myself blending in. Yet, if my spirit could talk in World, it would say ' get me the fuck out of here let me go just let me go i say... ' With the US Army Striker Battalion pulling in, and aside from the strong caution that still needs to be implemented, most of us are hoping to say this was a relatively successful mission. DSM
the operation in marjah is not so much a focus on battle more than it is a focus to restore.. restore order, restore freedom and drive out the taliban, whose only focus is to terrorize. What is there NOT to support about that?

I'm way too honest in my humble opinion as a soldier. My job is to do what I am told and nobody understands what that signifies like my fellow soldiers. My only real friends. I get a lot of mail expressing hate and disgust for what it is we're doing. Most of it is from those who enjoy all the benefits of our long history of war. Am I really supposed to believe that you hate me?? Is that really what you want me to believe? I tell you this when you ask me "why are we at war in the first place?" I say the United States Marine Corps is at war, America is at the fuckin mall.. and what you choose to judge me personally with is no more to my soul than garbage in garbage out.

We came across seven IEDs this morning... Thank God for unchartered terrain is all ima say about that... They are getting bigger and more frequent than I seem to recall from before. Maybe I just been gone too long.... Taliban can't be doing this forever, sooner or later they gonna have to stay put and fight and nobody knows when that will be but this fucker feel a storm coming... and my gut never lies to me. As I said, this is not about a battle so much as it is about restoration, building... however under everybody's watch their will be casualties there will be blood and my heart goes out to the civilians who have paid the price in the name of Lost War. May God hand you more than an eternity in peace, may he unite you with the dead children whos mothers and fathers remain alive and walking tonight. s/o
its only been two days that I've been back in the Helmand province. I waited to tell a lot of people I was leaving this time around, until these last few weeks. I am now finding that maybe that wasnt the best thing for me to do because it didnt give anybody a chance to say good bye. I know I hurt a lot of people and I know they wont ever understand why i did it that way, but i also know why i did it and for now thats enough to keep me from feeling too bad about it. I'm not someone who indulges in being glorified, praised or even being missed, I only want a chance to be heard. To be heard when I say, this is not goodbye. I fully intend to return to my America. To my family, to my friends.... This is my 4th tour in combat. Yes I know that the odds lessen for each soldier for every time they go back.... and maybe that is why I need to be able to FEEL like my odds are not lessened any, call me a dreamer, but my mind needs to believe in something, same way my heart does... My company is comprised of the very best, couple I even served with before so the familiarity was almost immediate. My bunk is pretty much just about papers and a small radio for right now, my pen and paper and my laptop (fuckyes gotta have my laptop)..... Called my brother this morning and he said my mother was waiting for me to call her, and so I did. I hate hearing her cry and the most I asked of her was to not seem so sad, I know its a tall order but at least she can be proud of the way she raised me and Adam and Mali... to want to protect her first.
All of my email is backed up and one person even told me that she found it selfish of me to find time to blog but not reply to her message... same old fuckin women man, they'd rather be my keeper than my friend, they'd rather take the understanding without extending any... Maybe I am selfish, I sure as aint going to argue.
As for taking every chance I have to blog I just have to take a moment and say that its no longer an interest its my lifeline... and these days its even more important that i do it. Nuff said.

No Last Names, only Everlasting Life I see...

I wonder if God has a last name.
Don't laugh.

I have a last name you probably have possess one too. Of course we need that bitch stamp in order to bar-code the little life we call ours, right? Ahh the identity scale... what a fuckin assembly line. How foolish could I have been to try and suggest that God's last name could've been anything remotely identifyable to the naked eye, to the naked heart and to the naked spirit.

Its intriguing to realize that some curiosities in life can be explored to the fullest extent of man's capabilities and yet, no one discovery is made one lifetime. Perhaps I've only surfaced with answers He wanted me to have, and never own... and never have I been more settled with that, but I still wonder. Scratch the surface a little as I laugh a little thinking you give a shit to know but...

My quest to un-cover a last name for God began as an alter-boy inside a Catholic mission and resulted in my major in Theology, somewhere in between trying to keep my eyes open and trying to count down the days of rotation in a war he never foretold me about , I realized that where I see God's name I see smoke, but the Heavens even the highest Heavens cannot contain God therefore, I am not disappointed in myself, as it is hardly surprising no human brain has the capacity to fully comprehend him, let alone find a last name to accompany his first, I have learned... yeap thats what I learned.

When it comes to an identity I could spell out, I suppose my conclusion is that Jesus was God's way of spelling himself out.. a last name no, more of an everlasting demonstration of who he is and just who is above all, above all I say... more than a name, his trinity is a seal. Of course some will challenge this to be as truthful as tangible proof, show me a man who can part three ways and remain authentic and I'll show you a man who still has no name to bargain with... Afterall, one of most common identifyable traits of sinners is free will, and God's assurance that we are capable and free to believe a lie if we so fuckin want to, and Satan's ability to twist the truth just enough to make you doubt the obvious....

My name is Damien and I have a last name and I wonder if God has a last name....