i refuse to live beneath the surface of ur eyes, where u hold no reasons to love and forgive beyond urself... ur words ur actions, turned the corners of this careless mind, i see that i am everything u ever wanted and nothing u could accept... that i am nothing u ever wanted and still couldn't let go of.... todays a good day to repaint the walls of my memory in black, hang my pride in the same place u tried hangin my balls.... lay this room in the ground of my soul and pray that in u, a rose emerges where all the black consumes u now..........
Should have known
That eventually
I'd be standing alone
Wondering, asking
Where the helld u go...
Even long before now
I began searching for u
Same person I once knew
I waited... hoped, got used to
Ur cold shoulders, thinkin this aint love
but i loved, i tried.... I fought fuckin fears for u...
Only to discover I wasn't enough
And as my vision clears I'm seein that
Maybe I was nothing at all....
Not going to cry, even here
I have my pride, I got myself...
Life doesn't say much about
Losing hands although... funny how u left me holding
This empty nothing.... broken promises aint nothing new
Just remember i loved... tried.... broke my fucking heart for u
have a great life and i wish u nothing but the best. get right.
DSM
my reply...
I don't understand why some Christians feel entitled to judge others who are not devoted to Christ. I've asked myself the same question and too often I've found that there are many, many people who 'say' they are saved, but that does not clearly define who is the Christian and who is not....
Christians have a right to be proud of loving Christ, and they got an obligation to serve Him where ever his will calls upon them to do so, regardless of what non-believers say or object to. They have a right to freely believe and demonstrate that faith, and they also remain warned that they will be persecuted for doing so.... I cannot judge anyone who believes or claims not to believe. i can only examine myself. Am I judged as a Christian?? Yes all the time, by both believers and non-believers. ima tell u this fucka, between u me and this fence-post, reformed smokers and reborn christians.... fuckin best at that shit.
As a Christian i believe in god with all my heart. why, u ask, and i say this because the world is the world and i have learned that there is no other way to salvation. That's not to say at my darkest times I will not doubt myself (NOT MY FAITH... but MYSELF). yea go figure ha, but the bible does not state that faith comes with its self-serve mechanisms as a Christians we are to feed our faith with the word of Christ, nurture the love that grows for Christ, and to simplify it for u, live to give what all u got, for the love of Christ.
u asked me why the bible speaks in parables, and u say u believe that if God was real that he would find no reason to hide himself from those who do not believe........
i say this to u and listen with not your eyes but listen to me with more of u, listen to me with that force that u use to cloud my own judgment...
the word of God is not for everyone; hearts of the rebellious cannot see or listen with their hearts, for god's word and all the truth is hidden in the parables and is sacred to those who give of themselves first and seek to know the truth of god. who seek Him.
u asked me who made god and the answer is simple, god is infinite. the bible states clearly he is the first, he is the last... beginning and the end... the Alpha, the Omega.
u say to me, that if God were real, there would be proof of this, tangible proof for people to see, feel, smell, hear..... i say this to u, god is not an instant gratification god, even tho we live in an instant gratification society... God's existance is proven by the air u breathe and the sky which reaches no limit. his son jesus christ was his next form of proof. and to this day there is more proof that a man named jesus christ was born to a virgin and walked the earth. carrying out every prophesy foretold, dating back to thousands of years before his birth, and that specific, scientific, and tangible proof does exist, that no man on earth could have possibly done the things jesus did in 33 years of life, down to the very last words in which he spoke to his father, and said '..my father, unto your hands i commit my spirit'...
hangon i lost my train of thought.....
as for u thinking i am trying to 'save' u... no need for sarcastic remarks, i understand asshole just fine.... it is not my job to save u that is god's job, its my obligation to share the word of christ with u and in no way am i asking u to rely on me, seek all reference in the bible....
yes.... u almost let me forget, christians are not perfect, and if u were judged poorly by many before stumbling upon ma sorry azz than i say u attracted some bad apples who might not even have a relationship with christ, and it might make u happy to know that God will judge the Christian First.
DSM
Christians have a right to be proud of loving Christ, and they got an obligation to serve Him where ever his will calls upon them to do so, regardless of what non-believers say or object to. They have a right to freely believe and demonstrate that faith, and they also remain warned that they will be persecuted for doing so.... I cannot judge anyone who believes or claims not to believe. i can only examine myself. Am I judged as a Christian?? Yes all the time, by both believers and non-believers. ima tell u this fucka, between u me and this fence-post, reformed smokers and reborn christians.... fuckin best at that shit.
As a Christian i believe in god with all my heart. why, u ask, and i say this because the world is the world and i have learned that there is no other way to salvation. That's not to say at my darkest times I will not doubt myself (NOT MY FAITH... but MYSELF). yea go figure ha, but the bible does not state that faith comes with its self-serve mechanisms as a Christians we are to feed our faith with the word of Christ, nurture the love that grows for Christ, and to simplify it for u, live to give what all u got, for the love of Christ.
u asked me why the bible speaks in parables, and u say u believe that if God was real that he would find no reason to hide himself from those who do not believe........
i say this to u and listen with not your eyes but listen to me with more of u, listen to me with that force that u use to cloud my own judgment...
the word of God is not for everyone; hearts of the rebellious cannot see or listen with their hearts, for god's word and all the truth is hidden in the parables and is sacred to those who give of themselves first and seek to know the truth of god. who seek Him.
u asked me who made god and the answer is simple, god is infinite. the bible states clearly he is the first, he is the last... beginning and the end... the Alpha, the Omega.
u say to me, that if God were real, there would be proof of this, tangible proof for people to see, feel, smell, hear..... i say this to u, god is not an instant gratification god, even tho we live in an instant gratification society... God's existance is proven by the air u breathe and the sky which reaches no limit. his son jesus christ was his next form of proof. and to this day there is more proof that a man named jesus christ was born to a virgin and walked the earth. carrying out every prophesy foretold, dating back to thousands of years before his birth, and that specific, scientific, and tangible proof does exist, that no man on earth could have possibly done the things jesus did in 33 years of life, down to the very last words in which he spoke to his father, and said '..my father, unto your hands i commit my spirit'...
hangon i lost my train of thought.....
as for u thinking i am trying to 'save' u... no need for sarcastic remarks, i understand asshole just fine.... it is not my job to save u that is god's job, its my obligation to share the word of christ with u and in no way am i asking u to rely on me, seek all reference in the bible....
yes.... u almost let me forget, christians are not perfect, and if u were judged poorly by many before stumbling upon ma sorry azz than i say u attracted some bad apples who might not even have a relationship with christ, and it might make u happy to know that God will judge the Christian First.
DSM
Pen
u might think.... im just taking once again, my hand to the pen.... yea kind of, i write for me, that is what i was meant to do... war is not all blood and gore sometimes u got an infinite moment to cradle the weight on ur shoulders round here...... wonder where the fuck u been, where the fuck u goin... why it all started, how the fuck its all goin to end.... yes with one pen, one heart and one mind that is all im here to do..... To find you, trust you... speak to you.
(u can call me pup)
im taking these walls down if only for a minute u can conquer the pain.... ur life is busy ur life is full and sometimes im sure u feel sorry for me but make no mistake about the watch i keep, my pain is only ur pain, reflected by the two-way mirror u brought with u...... u see i walk beside the lonely roads, not on em.... i fight for more than u i'm fighting for me too, fighting for more than ur life im fighting for mine too (hmm) wherever it went...... yea i know, here let me turn u right side up before u choke on that and yes those are dog tags in front of me......... they here with me, reminding me of the stories ima tell someday..... but for now they just doin their job day by day, hour by hour..... finalizing pieces of me as i do what i do..... calling you, doubting you.... missing you.
i walked alone earlier and gave way to my rambling head... i let myself feel things i normally wouldn't and why u might ask.... cuz im human just like u. and u and u..... yes i do have a heart now look away while i hide my eyes they say too much... in all dimentions ur like the same addictions that swallow me whole.. get ur kicks as i tell the truth again i am the way i am today because that is how love has treated me.... being here shuffling my feet and reloading its not hard to let her fade from the back of my mind... turning at the faint cries of a blind man begging me to kill him, inching away as he follows my footsteps because he cannot see.. reminds me of the day i cried tears in open land i can only hope she got the peace i found for her ... then as i noticed the sun rising i distinctly recalled my purpose here.... to forget you, to remember you... to confuse you.
(note to self: pay ur billz on time fucka)
brace urself im about to get reckless and tell u something about what u been wonderin.....
i was never meant to mean anything to u, like the way im letting these sheets of paper go, ur used to meaning nothing to some people u probably see every day, just bein honest don't let my words give u away...... i tend to wanna take care of everyone too, just the pops in me...... trying to do for me what i was meant to do...... so sit there and swallow as these words ive penned fight their way into ur blood until u can feel the numbness.... impairing you. comforting you.... maybe even angering you.
indeed, there are times when im able to smile... shit-faced grin i like keepin around for the good times, and if ur like me then u know what its like to smile anyway.and don't ever feel like u can't disagree with me, i defend that right and i gave my life to god not to u, just, u foot the bill if god decides to take my sorry azz is all......... and to the next who inherits that sacrifice may he give all the glory to the lord for what he brings home to his country.....
now picture me, standing behind u, my hands inside ur hands... feeling everything u feeling but wondering where the rest of me went... are u even following me? yes im sayin i still heart america Here here! now let the house come tumbling down..... to consume you, to un-do you... to believe in you.
(stolen thought # 5656 steal a pen and throw the cap in front of the next guy)
then there goes my mind... and somewhere she is wandering here.... name un-spoken, for there is no forgiving a careless tongue... shhhh she can hear me..... she wears my burden around her neck and walks with me backwards as we go back in our own time, she plays like she betting a full house on a dime, yes u guessed it, she wanders breathless, in stealth, partner in crime.... u see u mustve missed it the first time.... watch me take this broken heart and ima show u broken man... but hear me bet its beating parts and ur seeing the gambler... taking ur two and making a four, yes betting against those odds and more... just calling on the same cards in life i've always played with.... now close ur eyes and think of a price....... cuz in each our lives there is a price that comes for where we stand, but im takin it im betting on it
sayin fuck you
i love you
bleeding freedom in colors for this no man's land!!!
and im doing it all with a pen in my hand...
DSM
(u can call me pup)
im taking these walls down if only for a minute u can conquer the pain.... ur life is busy ur life is full and sometimes im sure u feel sorry for me but make no mistake about the watch i keep, my pain is only ur pain, reflected by the two-way mirror u brought with u...... u see i walk beside the lonely roads, not on em.... i fight for more than u i'm fighting for me too, fighting for more than ur life im fighting for mine too (hmm) wherever it went...... yea i know, here let me turn u right side up before u choke on that and yes those are dog tags in front of me......... they here with me, reminding me of the stories ima tell someday..... but for now they just doin their job day by day, hour by hour..... finalizing pieces of me as i do what i do..... calling you, doubting you.... missing you.
i walked alone earlier and gave way to my rambling head... i let myself feel things i normally wouldn't and why u might ask.... cuz im human just like u. and u and u..... yes i do have a heart now look away while i hide my eyes they say too much... in all dimentions ur like the same addictions that swallow me whole.. get ur kicks as i tell the truth again i am the way i am today because that is how love has treated me.... being here shuffling my feet and reloading its not hard to let her fade from the back of my mind... turning at the faint cries of a blind man begging me to kill him, inching away as he follows my footsteps because he cannot see.. reminds me of the day i cried tears in open land i can only hope she got the peace i found for her ... then as i noticed the sun rising i distinctly recalled my purpose here.... to forget you, to remember you... to confuse you.
(note to self: pay ur billz on time fucka)
brace urself im about to get reckless and tell u something about what u been wonderin.....
i was never meant to mean anything to u, like the way im letting these sheets of paper go, ur used to meaning nothing to some people u probably see every day, just bein honest don't let my words give u away...... i tend to wanna take care of everyone too, just the pops in me...... trying to do for me what i was meant to do...... so sit there and swallow as these words ive penned fight their way into ur blood until u can feel the numbness.... impairing you. comforting you.... maybe even angering you.
indeed, there are times when im able to smile... shit-faced grin i like keepin around for the good times, and if ur like me then u know what its like to smile anyway.and don't ever feel like u can't disagree with me, i defend that right and i gave my life to god not to u, just, u foot the bill if god decides to take my sorry azz is all......... and to the next who inherits that sacrifice may he give all the glory to the lord for what he brings home to his country.....
now picture me, standing behind u, my hands inside ur hands... feeling everything u feeling but wondering where the rest of me went... are u even following me? yes im sayin i still heart america Here here! now let the house come tumbling down..... to consume you, to un-do you... to believe in you.
(stolen thought # 5656 steal a pen and throw the cap in front of the next guy)
then there goes my mind... and somewhere she is wandering here.... name un-spoken, for there is no forgiving a careless tongue... shhhh she can hear me..... she wears my burden around her neck and walks with me backwards as we go back in our own time, she plays like she betting a full house on a dime, yes u guessed it, she wanders breathless, in stealth, partner in crime.... u see u mustve missed it the first time.... watch me take this broken heart and ima show u broken man... but hear me bet its beating parts and ur seeing the gambler... taking ur two and making a four, yes betting against those odds and more... just calling on the same cards in life i've always played with.... now close ur eyes and think of a price....... cuz in each our lives there is a price that comes for where we stand, but im takin it im betting on it
sayin fuck you
i love you
bleeding freedom in colors for this no man's land!!!
and im doing it all with a pen in my hand...
DSM
Long Lost In Between
listen to somewhere breathing in me, the in between of all that is, and all that isn't.
help me stand still, just need a moment to take myself, away. As ashes fall to the ground, down to my last hit, im feeling my soul, its got a beat... somewhere there is a song my life holds very near... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
like portraits painted my thoughts can bear to stand alone, within my head i keep hung... say no words to describe the world i'm in, out loud i work, up close i smile, i wait for the sun, look away from the moon... a madness in the dark i found, a song inside my hands i fear... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
someone take me for a minute, away from here, just long enough to see ur world from my world, all the nothings in between, all un-found and all unseen. blow ur secrets in my way, give me a mad thought to unravel for the ol times sake... maybe just maybe, might even spin u around a few times, make u see things my way..... yes put my name on a prayer and send it away and i'll catch it with my heart and make a touchdown America.... u see my scars? they look for ways to find u here, in a place where a song plays in my ear.... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
think about the people who worry for me and i say never worry for me, fuck there goes my cigarette... raise my bet, im coming home, beneath the skies this broken man, fights inside a broken war, betting against all odds and more, but my broken will belongs to God. Therefore I repeat, home is but a frame of mind..... but to u i listen, and in u i see, a song that is playin for someone like me, in one eye u closing, in the other a tear.... Yes, America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
Take ur chances, im a broken fall.... trapped inside an invisible wall. running for life, running for death, picture all the in-betweens in one long winded breath..... there is no transition, only survival.... a lonely thought in a crowded head, stepping carefully, very carefully in this world.... and i think about her, thinking about me.... i say if u gonna make mistakes just make em with me... and u will self-destruct in five, four, three, two... and in my heart, somewhere... yea somewhere in this wild heart, im hearing a song, a song that plays and its message is clear....... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
DSM
help me stand still, just need a moment to take myself, away. As ashes fall to the ground, down to my last hit, im feeling my soul, its got a beat... somewhere there is a song my life holds very near... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
like portraits painted my thoughts can bear to stand alone, within my head i keep hung... say no words to describe the world i'm in, out loud i work, up close i smile, i wait for the sun, look away from the moon... a madness in the dark i found, a song inside my hands i fear... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
someone take me for a minute, away from here, just long enough to see ur world from my world, all the nothings in between, all un-found and all unseen. blow ur secrets in my way, give me a mad thought to unravel for the ol times sake... maybe just maybe, might even spin u around a few times, make u see things my way..... yes put my name on a prayer and send it away and i'll catch it with my heart and make a touchdown America.... u see my scars? they look for ways to find u here, in a place where a song plays in my ear.... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
think about the people who worry for me and i say never worry for me, fuck there goes my cigarette... raise my bet, im coming home, beneath the skies this broken man, fights inside a broken war, betting against all odds and more, but my broken will belongs to God. Therefore I repeat, home is but a frame of mind..... but to u i listen, and in u i see, a song that is playin for someone like me, in one eye u closing, in the other a tear.... Yes, America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
Take ur chances, im a broken fall.... trapped inside an invisible wall. running for life, running for death, picture all the in-betweens in one long winded breath..... there is no transition, only survival.... a lonely thought in a crowded head, stepping carefully, very carefully in this world.... and i think about her, thinking about me.... i say if u gonna make mistakes just make em with me... and u will self-destruct in five, four, three, two... and in my heart, somewhere... yea somewhere in this wild heart, im hearing a song, a song that plays and its message is clear....... America is but a dream, but a dream my life can hear.
DSM
King's Ballad
She called out with her careless tongue, threw her hands above her jaded eyes as her broken smile fell beneath her and she cried for a ten.... in the kiss drawn from her naked lips, laid his burden, un-placed carefully upon her ring.... touched by her skin, and disguised as a King....
constellations reflecting, she placed her breath above the house.... mad stars flew over his head, he waited for a two, but got nothing instead.... where angels wait for the world to see, he bet all that he had and gave up his three......................
feel free to take what u think i have left.... instincts, blood, little bit of me goes a long way.... and a thousand more lives im gonna live by the end of this sentence.... just a man with a deck cards, i can outdraw ur aces in captivity... but meet me where the color accents of ur soul bleed into the black and white canvas of my mine and i'll show u how a beggar outlives his King... i've got no regrets, what ive lost, what ive gained is all and nothing strewn across the table of the frontline of my life, where my battles are no more won than they are lost, no more about the prize it is about the cost.... Here Here! i command u to forgive me *skip* ......... no, maybe i beg u
Paste ur hand-printed definitions on my wall as i fold my cards in front of u... im all about everything, all about nothing, truest ways of a broken kind im running... letting footprints on the ground lead as i move u frontwards, backwards, can u feel me from behind? yes im coming Queen of hearts, im coming, keep going..... fuck u blowin my mind.
Take somewhere beyond me, listen to the visions of a river gone un-dry.... behind that door u standing against, im all but fading, all but letting this crazy sand take me into the forever of a war gone lost.... hallways and cellars, windows without blinds... ive checked on all clocks, and i've un-set the times.... lookin for the man i used to be, but tryin to find the man i want to become... in this full house i wander infinite ranges of a life long gone, a life un-lived and a life on trade, but i'd risk it all with two twos if ive already paid
check u out, almost convinced me to play loose..... swinging atop this ball, above me im feeling an angel un-there... un-where? everywhere. dancing away from the song with no words, taking my thoughts and leaving the door open..... sometimes my blood runs cold and im left standing with no will to apologize, but the tears she paints and the smile she deconstructs has im sorry written all over my face..... and i am back where i started, at her feet.... my burden, un-placed carefully upon her ring... touched by her skin, and disguised as a King.
DSM
constellations reflecting, she placed her breath above the house.... mad stars flew over his head, he waited for a two, but got nothing instead.... where angels wait for the world to see, he bet all that he had and gave up his three......................
feel free to take what u think i have left.... instincts, blood, little bit of me goes a long way.... and a thousand more lives im gonna live by the end of this sentence.... just a man with a deck cards, i can outdraw ur aces in captivity... but meet me where the color accents of ur soul bleed into the black and white canvas of my mine and i'll show u how a beggar outlives his King... i've got no regrets, what ive lost, what ive gained is all and nothing strewn across the table of the frontline of my life, where my battles are no more won than they are lost, no more about the prize it is about the cost.... Here Here! i command u to forgive me *skip* ......... no, maybe i beg u
Paste ur hand-printed definitions on my wall as i fold my cards in front of u... im all about everything, all about nothing, truest ways of a broken kind im running... letting footprints on the ground lead as i move u frontwards, backwards, can u feel me from behind? yes im coming Queen of hearts, im coming, keep going..... fuck u blowin my mind.
Take somewhere beyond me, listen to the visions of a river gone un-dry.... behind that door u standing against, im all but fading, all but letting this crazy sand take me into the forever of a war gone lost.... hallways and cellars, windows without blinds... ive checked on all clocks, and i've un-set the times.... lookin for the man i used to be, but tryin to find the man i want to become... in this full house i wander infinite ranges of a life long gone, a life un-lived and a life on trade, but i'd risk it all with two twos if ive already paid
check u out, almost convinced me to play loose..... swinging atop this ball, above me im feeling an angel un-there... un-where? everywhere. dancing away from the song with no words, taking my thoughts and leaving the door open..... sometimes my blood runs cold and im left standing with no will to apologize, but the tears she paints and the smile she deconstructs has im sorry written all over my face..... and i am back where i started, at her feet.... my burden, un-placed carefully upon her ring... touched by her skin, and disguised as a King.
DSM
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