She's defined, yet more than a mystery...

I will never understand a woman. I will never fully comprehend her ways, her logic, everything that motivates her, everything that hurts her, everything that she sees in me........ I've done nothing to try and deceive her eyes. I've made no effort to restore the image of a broken man. I am only me. I am only someone whose heart is never fully broken, but always willing to break it a little more in order to experience the kind of love I can never seem to keep. War means more to the women who try and wear me then the way it means to me.... they are impatient, their hearts tell lies and I can only combat what is in front of my eyes I cannot conquer a disbelieving heart..... I am imperfect, from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. But no doubt the grand desire I am capable of giving a woman, is no more appreciated by her than is all the rest of the ways I've tried to make her see..... the real me.

She gives her all, loving fiercely and giving it all to the one character in her dreams.... she loves me with all she has, with all she is... and puts me on top of a rainbow she calls hers...... for the real me is seen only when I am lived without for so long.......... she lets me move her unselfishly, not minding the mark I leave upon her in front of the world.... She knows what its like to want to love and hate the world and never be ashamed of laughing upon a dream, a broken dream in front of the world, but a dream unbroken to few who dare to dream so fuckin carelessly and beautifully. SHE TALKS LIKE THIS AND COMMANDS MORE THAN MY ATTENTION SHE COMMANDS MY ALL MY LUST AND ALL OF MY LOVE AND ALL MY TEMPER EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.... my god the way she lusts to love this fucker is more than a turn on its unbearable at times......

She gives her all i said... loves me fiercely.... for who I am, no..... but for who she is..... and to this broken man, there is no other woman like that of a broken woman, broken so finely and so beautifully that every touch she gives is no less than a cut that lasts forever inside places of your heart only few dare to go.... and like a sorceress... she whirlwinds inside my world and blows all the broken pieces about me and scatters it about as her fury against me is felt, is heard by all in her land... she makes no secret of her anger to this fucker who more often doesnt realize he's fucked up until long after she's told me to kiss her ass.....

Tonight she is gone. And like before, she's taken everything back that she'd given to me since the last time we made up. From here, where I stand... in a sandbox of chaos, violence and occassional peace, I can only guess she feels empowered to tell me in so many words, what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine....... For all the way she lusted to love me, she gave me her all, loved me fiercely.... I did my best to return the gesture from as far as I am. Not the first time a woman has given and taken, but its the first time I've ever been affected by those actions from a broken woman.... beautifully broken, finely shattered... in my blood she runs and her neon ways of captivating my hunger for more I finally understand....


She won't ever know what she's done, for I am a man and I have my pride, I will accept her punishment as I have every other time before... Quietly.


but I will never understand a woman......